The 4 lessons we learned from opening up to strangers
At the end of March we gathered, a group of coaches, consultants and other professional dreamers, around the idea of the Inner work-out. A gym for inner work based on the practice of connecting to each other. We all new the transformative power of dialogue, and wanted to make that a common and accessible practice for everyone.
It was just the beginning of the COVID-19 spread in the Netherlands, and we sensed the uncertainty, loneliness and overwhelming pressure building up around us, and within ourselves. Listening to that we felt that the Inner Work-out is needed right now, and decided to speed launch our initiative online and for free.
Two months ago we started hosting Inner Work-outs in times of uncertainty, in the form of online free sessions. It was both our way of offering support and clarity in these confusing times and a pilot for our concept: Inner Work-out: dialogue sessions that build real connections. Overall we hosted 35 sessions, with more than 90 participants in English, Dutch and Hebrew.
It was an intensive action learning process, every week we learned and improved aspects of the sessions. Equally important, we felt inspired, energised and optimistic doing that.
In every session, without exception, it was beautiful to witness the shift in atmosphere: From anxious excitement, through openness, trust and and honesty, and ending with a sense of relief, connection and clarity about our way forward.
Here is what we learned:
Weekly practice of Inner work-out accelerates personal growth
The sessions were designed to enable a meaningful connection between strangers in a single interaction, and we were very happy to find out that they do. However, many individuals choose to join sessions every week, and build their inner muscles. Here again, we could see that ongoing practice makes you “Better”. It builds the ability to identify areas in which you feel stuck, to openly listen to others, and to share back clear compassionate and valuable reflection. Many members shared that the weekly practice had impacted the way they are connecting to others in their lives.
We all face similar questions
We all fall pray to the assumption that we are the only ones confused and insecure while everybody else has sorted out everything in their life. During the sessions, this assumption was falsified time and time again. It was surprising and humbling to find out that we all at our core, deal with personal insecurities, with uncertain futures, wanting to be seen and heard, looking for balance between head and heart and so fourth.
Getting input from strangers is eye opening
During the session individuals practiced not only with strangers, but with people who come from completely different backgrounds: professionally, culturally, different age groups, or different life experience. Despite that, or even thanks to that, it brought new and surprising insights. First, the process of explaining our dilemma to a strangers by itself helps us to see it in new light and make sense of it. Even more powerful was that getting reflections from strangers about our own situation uncover blindspots that we might not be able to uncover ourselves: Very often we see our dilemmas in a narrow focus, and ignore their complexity (or simplicity?), by focusing only on a small piece of it. Reflection from strangers helps us to see our situation from more angles, and move toward more complex and holistic understanding of ourselves and the world around us.
We are all imperfect and beautiful at the same time
Almost a paradox. We noticed that at the end of each session everyone was extremely beautiful, in a very literal sense. Partly it has to do with the relief and excitement of feeling connected to others, and having clarity about oneself. But I think that it goes deeper: after opening up to each other, and showing our humane and vulnerable sides, we could really see the core of each person, and their highest self became visible. On that point, we are all imperfect and astonishingly beautiful.
We are continuing with this journey, offering weekly sessions online and cautiously offering sessions face to face as well, Looking forward for more exciting learning to emerge.
And what have you learned?